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In the ancient world, before the internet and cell phones, there was no way to see the fullness of our lives. The world was a very big place. We were all alone, and in a world that was often harsh and challenging. We were also all at the mercy of those around us. It was in this world that the “wiccan wedding vows” evolved.
The idea was that couples would write out their vows and then vow to be faithful to each other. But it wasn’t long before people began to write their own, much more detailed vows. At first the process was a little scary to write, because there were no guidelines for what your vows had to include. But now that you are able to write your own, you can make them as detailed and specific as you like. The first couple I met were married in a little black book.
A couple in my class of ‘90s students wrote their vows on index cards that they would stick in the bathroom mirror. They had a little ceremony and a little reception, then they had a little party and a little baby shower. After that they went to the beach and they had a little picnic.
Some of the vows in our book are very specific. For example, “I vow to myself that if I ever get arrested, I won’t tell you why.” So for instance, “I vow to myself that if I ever get arrested, I will get locked up for five years.” Or, “I vow to myself that I will NEVER sleep with a woman I am engaged to marry.
There are other vows, some of which are more general in nature. One that I really like is “I promise to always love and respect my partner.” But in the end, all of these vows are really just a list of vows. It’s not a commitment. It’s not a promise. It’s not a vow.
These vows are not really binding, but they are more or less a list of promises that you make to yourself that you will be true to yourself, that you will always be there for your loved ones, that you will always be honest. What you are really doing is making a promise to yourself. It is a really important thing to do, because everyone should always know that they are going to be there for their loved ones.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to be true to who you are. Being honest to yourself is so important because it protects you from a lot of destructive behaviors. For instance, lying to yourself is a pretty nasty thing because it’s just a lot easier and better than pretending you’re someone else.
What you can do is to write down your values, and then keep your promise to yourself. You can write down what you believe you are, and what you feel you should be. You can write down what you want to be, and what you will be. You can write down what you want your life to look like, and that includes being in public, but do it in a way that feels genuine to you.
“Wiccan wedding vows” are one of those things that feel like they should be something that you think is going to happen in a book, but they are much more like something you would actually say yourself. A lot of my friends who are Christian have these, and a lot of my friends who are Atheist have these as well. They involve things like “love each other”, and maybe “be happy”.
Some people are happy to be in public, and some people don’t. A lot of people do, and a lot of people don’t.